| | Things You Always See or Hear at Non-league Footie | |
| Author | Message |
---|
Posh Webmaster
Managing : Ulisses FC
Posts : 3362 Career Goals : 33195 Location : Pembrokeshire Wales
| Subject: Things You Always See or Hear at Non-league Footie 2012-01-16, 18:54 | |
| No. | Description | 1 | A man with a bright red face and enormous flared trousers.
| 2 | The local town nutter who declares that he loves his local team so much and never, ever, misses a game, before mysteriously disappearing somewhere during the second half.
| 3 | The failed tactician. Usually stands behind managers dugouts in a mid-nineties Adidas training coat, Farah slacks and shiny shoes, bellowing out various disastrous instructions to all and sundry.
| 4 | Some old dear selling Bovril for the 61st consecutive season.
| 5 | The players wags - usually huddled together in the few half decent wooden seats that are available. And even at this level they're always stunning... why is that ?
| 6 | The half-time raffle where the prizes are mostly things like 4 cans of Mackeson Stout, a box of out of date Terry's All Gold, or a half empty can of Lynx.
| 7 | The condemned stand. In most non-league grounds you encounter a thin piece of red and white tape that's the only thing separating you from certain death on a relic that has stood empty and disused since 1987.
| 8 | Dodgy advertisement hoardings. These usually include a local haulage firm, an Indian takeaway, something where half of the advertisement has dropped off, and a taxi firm that went out of business 3 year ago.
| 9 | A dodgy section of the pitch. Used to great tactical effect by the home team, often resulting in long balls pumped to the sloping left-wing, daisy-cutter shots towards the molehills, and random bounces on the concrete-like goalmouth area.
| 10 | The 40 year old club veteran. Usually a central defender with a nose like a hammer, but sometimes a journeyman ex-pro called Dave, Barry, Mick, or Alan.
| 11 | The desperate Dad. Father of one of the younger players, he spends the entire match shouting and rawping at him in the full knowledge that his lad is never going to be quite good enough to 'make it'. That trial at Brentford will never come around again.
| 12 | The bloke who positions himself near the dug out so he can berate the manager regardless of the team's form or performances. Likes a pint in the social club with the failed tactician.
| 13 | Packets of crisps at the tea bar from manufacturers you've never heard of and that probably don't even exist. Brands like Bensons or His Nibs.
| 14 | The annoying intermittent tannoy system that was given to the club back in 1974 by the local bus corporation. It hardly worked back then, now it just sounds like Norman Collier has taken over the pre-match announcements.
| 15 | The pre-match announcements. Come on, does anybody listen to them ? He could be droning on about balsa wood for all anybody knows. In actual fact, he's usually thanking the local print firm for the match sponsorship or playing records such as "Eye of the Tiger" or anything by Phil Collins.
| 16 | A couple of spectacularly bored six year olds brought along by an elderly relative desperate to institutionalize them into the ways of supporting the local team. Moments after kick off they'll start kicking a discarded Coke can about for the remainder of the match.
| 17 | The fancy-dan wannabe. Easy to spot - he's the only wearing white, gold or red boots. And a hairband. Normally tries a couple of fancy flicks with his first few touches before being taken out by the 40 year old club veteran.
| 18 | Some half-daft old dear on her own in the seats wrapped in a bizarre, home made club scarf and wearing an equally homespun woolly hat. Her mood will swing from quiet benevolence to incandescent rage at any innocuous refereeing decision. There's also a good chance she'll be knitting.
| 19 | The drunk in the social club. He only goes because it was the only place he could get served before all day drinking was allowed. Hasn't yet realized the law was changed in 1989. Even the bloke who positions himself near the dug out and the failed tactician try to avoid him.
| 20 |
A massive, clapped out old telly in the social club. It was probably made by PYE.
|
|
| | | FootyFowler Forum Geek
Managing : The mighty Vauxhall Motors. As well as Barnet, Napoli and England on the PSP
Posts : 96 Career Goals : 22560 Location : Sheffield
| Subject: Re: Things You Always See or Hear at Non-league Footie 2012-01-17, 17:29 | |
| My dad is mates with the father of the leading goalscorer of the club, and we always stand have a chat with him, he is great, we travel everywhere watching them. Occasionally we hear the odd, "Fucking Hell Ash (the player's name), you should have buried the Looking at the Moon" and that's about it. Haha, and we always get a bovril! Shame, the game is off tonight. |
| | | FootyFowler Forum Geek
Managing : The mighty Vauxhall Motors. As well as Barnet, Napoli and England on the PSP
Posts : 96 Career Goals : 22560 Location : Sheffield
| Subject: Re: Things You Always See or Hear at Non-league Footie 2012-01-17, 17:30 | |
| it says looking at the moon, i dint put that, i put c**t |
| | | FMGeek Injured
Managing : crewe
Posts : 386 Career Goals : 25274 Location : London
| Subject: Re: Things You Always See or Hear at Non-league Footie 2012-07-13, 20:03 | |
| And about a few hundred fans on their own singing in the corner |
| | | Jelly Vice President
Managing : to do the YMCA whilst under the influence of alcohol
Posts : 1484 Career Goals : 27932 Age : 29 Location : Crawley
| Subject: Re: Things You Always See or Hear at Non-league Footie 2012-07-14, 23:52 | |
| I wish I could tell you...but a year is such a long time! NPOWER LEAGUE ONE BABY! CTFC! |
| | | FMGeek Injured
Managing : crewe
Posts : 386 Career Goals : 25274 Location : London
| Subject: Re: Things You Always See or Hear at Non-league Footie 2012-07-15, 08:28 | |
| Blue square south ftw |
| | | Pringers Top Poster
Managing : Arsenal
Posts : 3316 Career Goals : 28051 Age : 33 Location : Wales, UK
| Subject: Re: Things You Always See or Hear at Non-league Footie 2012-07-15, 11:09 | |
| I have never been to a non-league football match I'm a bit of a snob when it comes to games I go to watch |
| | | Sponsored content
| Subject: Re: Things You Always See or Hear at Non-league Footie | |
| |
| | | | Things You Always See or Hear at Non-league Footie | |
|
Page 1 of 1 | |
| Permissions in this forum: | You cannot reply to topics in this forum
| |
| |
| Latest topics | » TCM18 Logopack by TCMLogos.com by Kinmar 2017-11-10, 08:52
» FM18 Giveaway by Posh 2017-10-21, 13:22
» FM18 Giveaway by Posh 2017-10-21, 13:20
» TCM17 Logopack by TCMLogos.com - Update 17.2 by Kinmar 2017-04-01, 09:48
» FM2017 - SS Kit Display Modification by Gerdundula 2016-12-25, 11:15
» VITREX17 for FM17 by Gerdundula 2016-12-25, 11:05
» INTRODUCING BLAK - THE ALL-IN-ONE SKIN FOR FM2017 by Gerdundula 2016-12-24, 11:23
» 3D Kits for new season 2016/2017 by JohnnyeSandy 2016-12-01, 22:45
» Regen Hairpack by Gerdundula 2016-11-27, 21:23
» Andromeda Black for FM17 by Gerdundula 2016-11-27, 20:47
|
Affiliates |
This site is not endorsed by Sports Interactive or SEGA and is intended for entertainment purposes only. The views expressed on this site are the views of the individual contributors and not those of Sports Interactive or SEGA. The official Football Manager site can be found at www.footballmanager.com and the official forums can be found at community.sigames.com.
|
|